meatrants

04:25 pm: Violent Bye, Drink It And Die
I thought I'd never get away from that puppy again! He trapped me in the corner for months! I had to stay perfectly still. Every time I would move, he would start wagging his tail....finally he left to go find food.

I went back home to my apartment and my key didn't work. It must have been the silly putty. But no door will keep me from my ravioli! I've heard places change, and I found this to be true! Lots of little bugs were keeping an eye on my apartment and ate all the food I left out for the tooth fairy. They had better pay their share of the rent!

Mr Whitecoat apparently had been by too, and left me some more candies in the orange bottle. I love candies!


I had to act. The trees were telling their lies again. I didn't want to, but they made me! At least the leaves make a nice winter coat.

09:13 pm: I hear the clanking of the metal as I shake this penny inside of a mountain dew can. Now it is worth 11 cents!

I was walking on the lawn yesterday morning when a squirrel said that he made monies selling white powder. I could use a monies so I got a trash bag and started collecting the white powder falling from the sky! The bag must have mutated, though, because the white powder changed into this clear liquid form before the check could clear. Drats.

The trees still haven't told me the answer to the riddle. Just what IS 9 plus 2?! They just keep dancing their mocking sway dance. It's okay. I will remember.

03:31 pm: It's only now that I realize that I'm back from the brink of chocolate. God's dandruff is falling from the sky! I wanted to give God some Head And Shoulders, but does God even have shoulders? I mean, I know he has a head. I saw it in my oreo milk once. It's hard being the only one that can smell the scent of blue.

I had that dream again. The one where the plant on the porch jumps off of the railing, and there was nothing I can do to save it. The glue I put on there wasn't strong enough. Was plant existence so dull? Maybe it wasn't meant to be away from the worms after all. Days can be bland now that the ice cream man stopped playing his music. Shoes are for fools.

02:29 pm: Nature is dessert after the meal.
I was walking in the woods today, when I saw this green pepper on the ground. So I picked it up and it said "Hail Radishes!" I apologized profusely and threw it at the pinecones that were following me. It's impossible to sell a tree insurance when you're being stalked! And the bees! They kept calling me honey and became intimate with me, prodding me painfully with their rears. No means no, but buzz means buzz!

When I got home I wanted some waterblock to put on my arms to make my arms not get so big, but the stupid microwave wouldn't make the water cold! So I took off the faucet and put it outside--hopefully it will cool down enough out there.

The police refuse to come to my aid any longer. The leaves STILL keep watching me and they won't do a damn thing about it! I can still hear them whispering about football.

05:19 pm: Tours of the colors
It's me again. I'm hiding under the cardboard hoping the laser doesn't find me again. Just because I painted a wall doesn't mean that I stole your rice patties. If someone has all the answers, then they can't know all the questions.  I realize now that I left my shoe on the moon the last time I was there. Fedex can't help me with THAT one, can they? You can't employ ants in a land mine!

04:42 pm: Snugmelons?
What was the matter? Were you abused outside? How do you deal with a guilty conscious?
You tell someone. Communication is what's important. Although you may not learn a damn thing. Let's start the show. Everybody's waiting, and anticipating. You know what they came here to see. Mix it up! People are killing people and they can't hear. They can't hear the rythm of events unfolding around them. People are dropping headphones on the street. How do you expect me to rap when my throat's dry? I'm thirsty, and I for real. Go thirsty, go thirsty. But I come back for more. What? Yes, they are real good to me. They always stand behind me. That's what it's all about. Golfing in your slippers. All information is contained in the vibes that entities send off. You just tune into the frequency, and you know it. It's that simple. You won't know it if you aren't listening for it. Get on with it! Limit yourself! My rage gives me a backache. It gets me. Welcome back to my hell. I'm glad you've had an oppertunity to see what you've done to me. You've given it to me. You can't deny it, it's too real for you. It's about to break you. I see your death in you. It shows itself to me, what will happen. It would terrify you, if only you knew. I'm sorry, it can be an emotional deal. You can sense the vibrations of your heart, and it's amplified seven times. It tightens, and the energy comes out a vortex. You fall deeper, and deeper, like going to sleep but more permament. You can buy power and knowelege no one knows about you. Your eyes gaze out...way out...and you drift away. Only you can pull yourself back. Why would you want to trim a baby's hair? Form a connection between the words, then find a corelation. Believe and you'll have more. Flow is a lifestyle. God damn fools cost god damn pools. Why don't any of you believe me?! They pin me down, and hold me there.

04:47 pm: White is a small country.
Ahh! The alligators are after me, with their crystal calls! No rice! Why must I deform to this manic sympression of a man?! This isn't about communism, it's about giving people what that want. Shut up! I'm sorry for all the pain you feel. Pain is a teacher. Applaud it. 3rd Grade Pain was my favorite. I fell! I fell for a sweet little tangerine of a lady, when she showed up. I ran around with a gun, and people would whack me over the head. And now I'm overworked and underpaid.
I can't come out and have a nice night like you. I am forced into isolation until I flip out and snap. People can't sue me, but they keep calling me and writing to me. I was the first. I was the one who said if you kill me you can't have a school. That's what we're talking about, the students? Where are the teachers? You know? I would have been a president, like the last one! Six years, while we were young. Believe me, you're not gonna scare me, are you? I love my parents, and I'm still trying to be tough. They paid good money to lie. They said your folks could lie. Anything they want. You know what I would have wanted? To apply to turn, but they said no. I went down there with a cape, but how tough could it be to make a ninety year old be fine? Look, they can't use you. You're not qualified. Make some tang. No suprises, please! Hide the fast giant stuffed animal. Use body wash, and you'll feel fresh, like a college student in seventeen seconds. I'd like to thank the buzzer. You're no sunday bakini yourself. Yeah! Introducing the civilly engineered core. People say it's a big time everywhere. It's fresh, and respected, just like you. We don't want the past to happen again, it's too heavy. Are you from Italy? Are you deaf? Can you find? How about fifty? They come with factory warranty. For one and above, we'll prove it. Stock up your diamonds before you buy! That is the key to success! Why do we hate the beach? It's a good deal for an American. When a tragedy occurs, we get mad as hell. They tried to be stupid! Do you know who's office you're in? These guys will kill each other until they go down! They'll be almighty and won't get sick no more and go to war and get tired. Why fight with a foreign person in a cab? Take me there, cabby! Thanks! Now merging with a hidden trigger. Who said I was blind now? I'm not missing. I'm silent. Paper couldn't put me back together. Money can help you unwind and get a scarf. But will it be your last scarf? How would you know? How COULD you know? I mean, damn! Why struggle? Can you answer your destiny as it calls you and rates you like in a game? Women and men go to Los Angeles just to see a store or go to a basketball game. Then they sit there while people put round balls through a basket a lot of times. They sit there on their ass! Why only here?
Do you think this is funny? You can't do that. Grr, we must be molded again. How dare they. We have free speech! Since 1980 I have been off in the rodeo. In a classical way. Onto the police department and toilet paper it! They're on the way down to create havoc! We can't let them! But I turned wrong. This is a nice game, although some things can make it worse. How can you feel bad? Yeah, what he said. We're all scottish! Other people? Keep them away! Is that you think you
could have a concious? Let's all take a trip down the river. We have someone we need to share.

03:12 pm: Jiggling bees.
This time I thought my pants were really in trouble. Last night kangaroos were jumping in the sky and reaching in their pouch! In their pouch were peppermints which exploded into many pieces and color! I could tell that the pirates were trying to steal the candy again because I could hear their cannons. Someone named Julie said they were glad to be back! Where did the colors go?

12:44 am: Drat. I still cannot see the back of my eyes. I have grown weary of the noise. Three cycles until the siren! Then birds fly again. I have been exploring this maze, seeing new things. Some chanting, then it arrived. Everyone was throwing seaweed and shouting something about current pant designs. They said I was up next to go in the hole, not that I had a choice. Blue lights surrounding, circling me as I roll the baseball across the ground. Where is this place again?

10:07 pm: I hear you! Stop taking your shirt off!
What does it mean when the music in your head keeps skipping like a blender under a cement truck? Too bad it's only half as messy. That frog wanted in on the cut. I said, "Look frog, you can't just play blackjack whenever you find a dollar!" He looked at me like frogs do. What happened next was a suprize to even me. The sun rose! No, I mean it ROSE! That never happened before. Well, since it set back when I was taking my driver's license test. The pillow didn't help much, either. Just because birds don't exist anymore doesn't mean they still can't poop on your windshield. Have you ever tried wrapping a garden hose around a tree trunk with your dog standing there? I mean, come on! Shouldn't he be out checking his stocks? I'm not sure about him, but I'm going to get stock in socks. It rhymes, so the money will be mine. Or the socks. My choice. So why do we drip on the wall, that's my question. Only on Wednesdays do we drip back up. When a picture isn't crooked but the frame is, the ketchup goes on the left side. People spend many years learning how to play bass, but they never take the time to learn how to play treble. They have trouble with treble. The equalizer shall not shave your kangaroo THIS time, my friend! Just like when I go into the shower and the chocolate starts to overflow the drain.

09:35 pm: Washing my stripe of dignity.
Seven cents can't buy many shirt buttons these days, but that's ok; people don't have many cents to begin with. I mean, if their empty space was in a bucket, they could attach a wheel to it and push it around all day. The bucket would change colors whenever it rained. And if you put the bucket in the ground, peppers would grow. People go on and on about how important it is to have good family values in this night and elapsed time. I'm more concerned with the values of the ground thickness. If the ground gives way, then who would take care of the airplanes? Surely not our new neighbors the worms. They have enough to wonder about, worrying which end the head is actually on. I once heard an invdividual exclaim by varying the pitch of his audible tones that he could  play baseball. How can one wear a mit when playing guitar? Nowadays the world is just about sex and gasoline. The fumes of both are enough to make anyone  mad. They both go in your fast mobile. The government doesn't want you to know you can monitor yourself on your monitor. Just make sure you have a plunger  handy. The guy at the store told me to please come again. How could I go back when I wasn't there the first time. I didn't know he could see me. I might not  have put the jerky under the freezer. Green may be the color of money, but yellow is the color of pee. Unless you peed money. The first international bank of  bladder. Full investment returns on your hair may be delayed. Be patient. I didn't know Hollywood was in the night sky. It's where all the stars are. Until something brighter makes them sticky. Hey mister, can I borrow your shovel? I have a hole in my ceiling.